Motivation

The weather has been so nice lately (And you know how rarely I can honestly say that here in Southern Nevada!)  that my son Matthew and I have been able to go on several long walks together. The best part about these walks is that they have facilitated some wonderful conversations. For example, the other day as we were walking, Matthew confided, "Mom, usually when people ask why I want to be in the military I say it's because I want to help protect our country, but it's really because I like to watch things explode."

I got a good laugh at that. Since then I've been thinking about the topic of Motivation. I believe that many people, myself included, deceive themselves about their true motives. They may tell others and even themselves that their intentions are pure, but the reality is quite different. For example, I've known people who have given their time and efforts to serve others but seem far more concerned with extolling their acts of service than they ever were with actually trying to help another person. Similarly, I've seen people give elaborate gifts and then be incredibly hurt and angry when the gift wasn't properly appreciated. Was the gift really to bless the other person or to enable them to receive the gift of praise and gratitude from the recipient?

Recently my home teacher mentioned that he and his wife had been discussing me and had both commented that I was a person without guile. I was appreciative of the comment, but also very uncomfortable with the high praise and unsure of its validity. As I thought about their compliment, I was reminded  of a wonderful book by Terry Warner entitled, "The Bonds That Make Us Free: Healing Our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves." I would highly recommend it!!  Dr. Warner discusses the importance of being honest with ourselves, rather than mentally justifying our choices and twisting our motives to stay in the right. It's a wonderful book!!

In response to my conversation with Matthew and my subsequent pondering of the topic, I am going to try to more critically examine my motives. Am I really making a choice for the reasons I think I am, or is there a deeper and less flattering motivation that I conceal from even myself?  I want to let down my guards and be totally honest with myself and see what I can discover about myself and my motives. I'll let you know if I make any great discoveries.